Why men have affairs?
Chat about a loaded matter that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on ever since the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with problems, cause misery, and other problems. Also you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety matter, finances, age dissimilarity, spiritual upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I will define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married men.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek an extramarital affair. I think mainly though it is just the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone can turn the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many people the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but the public too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your relatives or anyone else? You would need to lessen the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major group, huge really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are comfy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your finances are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, usually the guy is sexually neglecting his woman for a large humber of reasons. As a male I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe caring is vanished, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply grown apart, our common concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair